Pause to Listen: The Power of Active Listening in Creating an Inclusive Society

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Effective communication and understanding are more important than ever. Active listening, as a catalyst for change, plays a significant role in encouraging dialogue and paving the way for a more inclusive and supportive society. Let’s take a moment to explore how active listening empowers us to embrace the art of pausing, reflecting on information, and fostering empathy and an open mind.

The Pause: An Essential Element of Active Listening

In a world filled with constant noise and distractions, the art of pausing to listen has become a rare skill. Active listening involves more than just hearing words—it requires creating a space for the speaker to express themselves fully. By pausing and giving our undivided attention, we acknowledge the value of the speaker’s message and the significance of their experiences.

Reflective Listening: Hearing and Processing Information

When we actively listen, we open the door to understanding by reflecting on what is being said. Reflective listening involves paraphrasing or summarizing the speaker’s words to ensure we grasp their intended message accurately. This process not only shows respect but also helps the speaker feel heard and validated.

Empathy and an Open Mind: Building Connections

Active listening goes beyond the act of hearing; it cultivates empathy and fosters an open mind. By setting aside our preconceived notions and biases, we can truly understand the speaker’s perspective and build a stronger connection. Empathy forms the foundation of a compassionate and inclusive society, allowing us to support one another through understanding.

Office Assessment: Putting Active Listening into Action

To assess your active listening skills, take a moment to answer the following question:

You’re in a team meeting, and a colleague shares their concerns about a project’s progress. How do you respond?

A) Immediately offer solutions and advice.

B) Let them finish speaking, then share your own concerns.

C) Ask them to elaborate on their concerns and feelings.

D) Interrupt and shift the conversation to a different topic.

Answer: C

Ask them to elaborate on their concerns and feelings. You demonstrate active listening by asking for more details and understanding their perspective. This approach shows that you value their input and are genuinely interested in understanding their viewpoint.

Did you answer correctly? If not, remember this scenario before your next team meeting.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/pause-listen-power-active-listening-creating-society-vernita?trk=article-ssr-frontend-pulse_more-articles_related-content-card

Bold Journey Article August 2023

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We recently connected with Vernita Stevens and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Vernita, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
While I was raised with a foundation of strength, confidence and self-esteem were qualities I had to cultivate over time. Despite occasional doubts, my journey took a transformative turn when I joined the Marine Corps as a teenager, where I progressively built unwavering confidence because of all that I had to overcome.

When I entered the Recruiter’s office, I was told “not many females are able to make it,” and asked if I was sure. I knew that I was up for the challenge, and mustered all of the confidence I had when I assured him that I was certain. I needed to draw on that confidence many times as a female Marine, and each time I needed to remember that moment, I gained more self-esteem and courage. In fact, I learned to pause and savor the moments when I needed to drawback on that memory.

Those pauses afforded me a moment to collect myself and step into my most confident, best self. When I realized how much power there is in pausing, then I started to cultivate that influence and develop a message to the world: there is power in pausing.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
My sense of purpose is intricately woven with the understanding that I’m walking on the path intended for me by God. Each experience and career choice, though not always clear in their purpose, align with a greater plan. My conviction rests in the belief that, guided by faith, there are no accidents or mistakes in the tapestry of life. While the reasons behind each step may not be immediately evident, I hold steadfast to the belief that God’s hand is guiding me, and His plan is perfect.

After my time in the Marine Corps as a Drill Instructor, I knew I needed to draw from my experiences and that my purpose going forward was to be a voice for those who are not being heard. I started my business, Paradigm of Possibilities, LLC (AKA 2P-LLC), to offer trainings and consultancy for organizations needing help with topics like inclusion, conflict resolution, and more.

My business has blessed me in many ways, and I have learned so much through the discussions I have led. The work I have done inspired to me to get my Masters Degree in Human Relations, concentrating in Diversity, Equity, and Social Justice. Most recently, I have been expanding my speaking career, focusing on Bystander Intervention and education around the “Power of Pause,” which is a term I have coined to describe the need and benefits of intentionally pausing. The Power of the Pause is applicable in most situations and allows us to control our emotions, communicate effectively, and move with purpose.

My nonprofit, the 2P Center of Excellence, supports my dream that youth receive the necessary education to be outstanding upstanders and employ bystander intervention skills when seeing conflicts arise.

Don’t forget: cleaning your lens changes your view!

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
The unwavering support and wisdom imparted by my parents and grandparents played a pivotal role in shaping my resilience. Their guidance taught me to persevere and be optimistic with my words and energy.

My strong work ethic was instilled early on, spending countless hours in the garden with my Granny and tending to various tasks related to my dad’s equestrian pursuits. Caring for horses and animals further ingrained in me the importance of dedication and responsibility.

Undoubtedly, my generosity finds its roots in my mother’s influence. From my earliest memories, I witnessed her actively engaged in the church, whileselflessly caring for the sick and homebound. This spirit of giving has become second nature to me, a legacy I’m proud to carry forward. Carrying on her legacy is important to me and one reason I was drawn to starting a nonprofit organization for youth.

Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?
My wellspring of optimism originates from a multitude of sources that have shaped my perspective. From the unwavering support of my family and mentors to the lessons learned through overcoming challenges, I’ve come to realize that a positive outlook is not only a mindset but a conscious choice. Embracing the belief that even in adversity, there’s potential for growth, fuels my optimism and colors my approach to life. Taking a principled stand against racism and inequities has been a fundamental aspect of my character. Drawing from the values instilled in me, I am committed to advocating for equality and justice, refusing to remain silent in the face of injustice, and all began for me at home.


Contact Info:

https://boldjourney.com/news/meet-vernita-stevens/

Voyage Raleigh Article September 2022

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Today we’d like to introduce you to Vernita Stevens.

Hi Vernita, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today.
I am a retired United States, Marine Master Sergeant. When I walked into the recruiter’s office in 1993 and they told me that as an elite fighting force most women don’t make it through the program, I accepted that as a personal challenge. I not only made it through – but I retired- from the program! As a child, I was taught to stand tall and be a voice for others as much as an advocate for myself. An empowered upbringing and facing some barriers involved with being a female Marine sparked me. What I had to overcome, and the knowledge that I gained, fueled my second career as a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion trainer, keynote speaker, and business consultant.

My business, Paradigm of Possibilities, provides instructional training and meaningful conversations on topics like unconscious bias, workplace inclusion, bystander intervention, and navigating difficult conversations.

Entrepreneurship and being a veteran, female business owner paved the way for my current position as the Vice President of DEI in Charlotte.

I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle free, but so far would you say the journey has been a fairly smooth road?
I can’t say the road has been incredibly smooth, but I can say that I have become stronger with each struggle. I already mentioned being challenged early on at the Marine Corps Recruiter’s office, Hearing people say that I couldn’t do something and me proving them wrong became a regular occurrence and fueled my forward progression.

Last year, I dealt with emotional burnout when finishing my master’s degree. The feelings of exhaustion and overwhelm were so strong that I was nearly crippled. I finished, but it took all the strength I could muster. Please learn from me and prioritize self-care and rest, so that doesn’t happen to you.

Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
I specialize in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion as well as Bystander Intervention. My mission is to help organizations ensure DE&I, and that safe intervention is woven into the decision-making process, demonstrated in its mission, vision, values, and operational priorities. I’m known for helping organizations to understand their own, and their team’s, implicit/unconscious biases as well as the principles of diversity, equity, and inclusion being key to opening doors to equity and teams feeling respected and valued.

An inclusive workspace starts from within. This begins with modeling the leadership, stakeholders, and board members having those difficult conversations and incorporating strategies that recognize their strengths and embraces the areas that may need improvement that create a welcoming space for feedback growth my passion is helping teams get to the most equitable places possible.

I’m most proud of modeling and teaching true listening. Today more than ever people are talking but not paying attention! When listening, the first thing I do is listen to their goals and desires, where they see themselves in the future, and what concerns they have. I then model active listening and encourage developing a plan, goals, clarity, and a successful strategy to move forward.

Active listening is a skill that I model for the community youth that I proudly work with within my nonprofit organization, The 2P Center of Excellence. In addition to active listening, we aim to bring awarenesses to the importance of Bystander Intervention to create Upstanders in the future. Creating a nonprofit to help our local youth, and also youth across the nation was incredibly important to me and I take pride in the work we are doing.

In terms of your work and the industry, what are some of the changes you are expecting to see over the next five to ten years?
I envision us continuing to move forward into a more inclusive, equitable world. I’m excited for the time that DE&I is the norm.

Contact Info:

https://voyageraleigh.com/interview/conversations-with-vernita-stevens/

Helping Our Youth Thrive

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2p Center of Excellence, INC is a nonprofit bringing:

  • Bystander intervention,
  • Anti-bullying training, and,
  • Education to youth and 🏫 schools. 

The organization focuses on the climate of not only the school environment but the virtual learning platform 💻. 

Our Bystanders against Bullying (BAB Program) was created as an intervention program to teach youth and educators about safe intervention to stand up for others and keep the environment safe. Developing training to make it easier to understand, evaluate, and address the climate, culture, and social dynamic of the school environment. 

2p Center of Excellence, INC helps communities Clean their Lens and consider the Possibilities of what can be done to make schools positive and productive. Standing Up Against Bullying, Hate, Racism and Discrimination, we provide a safe space and a brave space fostering an environment for Change. Working to reduce and prevent bullying 📲 and cyberbullying across the country, teaching effective solutions of how to act, interact and respond when faced with bullying. 

It provides help for those in need and at risk of suicide and raises awareness that bullying of any kind is unacceptable.

If you are interested in partnerships with our group please contact [email protected].

#2pllc #bullying #preventbullying #suicideawareness #racism #discrimination #culture

Author: Vernita Stevens is a retired United States Marine Master Sergeant. Throughout her distinguished career, she was a Congressional and Legislative Fellow, Equal Opportunity Representative, Formal School Instructor, Drill Instructor, Operational Stress Control and Readiness Master Trainer, DoD Certified Mediator, Sexual Assault Victim Advocate, and Quality Assurance Evaluator. Her commitment to equality, solid leadership skills, congressional and command experience has given her the distinctive ability to take extremely complicated procedures and situations and turned them into teachable moments.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/helping-our-youth-thrive-vernita-stevens?trk=article-ssr-frontend-pulse_more-articles_related-content-card

Quiet Quitting: Or Are We Overlooking a Sense of Belonging?

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Quiet quitting has become a hot topic in the business world. It is being defined as employee disengagement, doing minimum work requirements, and no longer going above and beyond to please employers in the workplace. Gallup, conducted a recent survey, and found that in the second quarter of 2022, U.S. employee engagement took a step backwards with the proportion of actively disengaged employees increasing to 18%. The ratio of engaged to actively disengaged employees is now 1.8 to 1, the lowest in almost a decade. 

While the pandemic may have had something to do with the decline, I would offer that feeling valued, understood, and included could also be part of the reason. What if inclusion, belonging, and access is the overlooked solution to slowing down quiet quitting?

Today, let’s take a moment to explore just that. Discuss how Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, Belonging, and Access (DEIBA) should be a natural part of the workplace flow and not an afterthought. When employees understand what is expected of them, can bring their authentic selves to work, feel psychologically safe, and feel valued by their employers, they are more likely to not only stay with their company but also produce higher-quality work.

People are talking across the globe about why they chose to quit quietly and the pros and cons of why this is happening. The truth is there is a deeper issue that may differ for each employee. If employers and employees acknowledge there is a root cause and become more transparent about the “why,” we may then see work environments that address the issues fueling the quiet quitting.

Quiet quitting is fairly widespread and can be detrimental to companies, so my ask is simple, work with your employees by providing support of health and well-being, work on effective communication, employee engagement and inclusion, healthy boundaries and expectations, and acknowledge lived experiences.

Starting today, work harder on creating purposeful opportunities, being innovative, collaborative, and fostering a workplace culture that keeps employees engaged, feeling a sense of belonging, and motivated towards not only completing their goals but exceeding them.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/quiet-quitting-we-overlooking-sense-belonging-stevens-mhr-desj?trk=article-ssr-frontend-pulse_more-articles_related-content-card

Embrace DEI Initiatives

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The growth of diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives is a powerful and necessary step toward fostering a more just and equitable society. These efforts reflect a commitment to acknowledging historical injustices, addressing systemic inequalities, and creating environments where everyone has an equal opportunity to thrive. While many have embraced these initiatives wholeheartedly, it’s important to acknowledge the criticisms and resistance they have encountered.

Critics and those who resist DEI initiatives often stem from a variety of reasons. Fear of the unknown, uncertainty about personal relevance, and concerns about potential discomfort can lead to resistance. Change, especially when it involves confronting uncomfortable truths and altering long-held beliefs, can indeed be challenging for individuals and organizations alike. However, it’s crucial to recognize that growth often arises from stepping out of one’s comfort zone.

Governor Ron DeSantis’ recent decision to block state colleges from offering DEI programs is an example of this resistance. This move represents an unfortunate attempt to limit education and dialogue around issues of diversity, equity, and inclusion. It is essential to view history through an accurate and unbiased lens, acknowledging both the triumphs and the painful aspects. History is a collective narrative that shapes our present and future, and an incomplete or distorted version only perpetuates ignorance and misunderstandings.

It’s important to recognize that history that is not fully understood or shared does indeed have a tendency to repeat itself. By embracing DEI initiatives and learning from our history, we can collectively work towards a society where prejudice and injustice are replaced by empathy and understanding. These initiatives provide an opportunity for individuals and communities to bridge gaps, foster empathy, and work toward a more inclusive future.

To move forward, it’s essential to engage in open, respectful, and informed conversations that address concerns and fears surrounding DEI initiatives. Empathy and understanding should be extended to those who are resistant, and efforts should be made to present the value and positive impact of these initiatives on both an individual and societal level. Overcoming resistance requires patience, education, and a commitment to fostering an environment where everyone can feel heard, valued, and understood.

The growth of diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives is a vital step toward building a fair and just society. While resistance and criticism may arise from fear and discomfort, it’s imperative to embrace these initiatives as a means of learning from history, promoting understanding, and creating a better future for all. The path toward change is often challenging, but it’s a journey that we must undertake collectively to ensure a more equitable world.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/embrace-dei-initiatives-vernita-stevens-mhr-desj?trk=article-ssr-frontend-pulse_more-articles_related-content-card

The Art of Pausing Versus Reacting: Enhancing Educator-Student Interactions

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In the ever-evolving landscape of education, the significance of hitting the pause button before responding cannot be understated. Educators often find themselves in the midst of fast-paced classrooms and dynamic student interactions, making the act of pausing a crucial yet sometimes overlooked aspect of effective teaching. While the natural inclination might be to swiftly react to students’ queries or actions, the true value lies in taking a moment to pause, absorb, and respond intentionally.

Unlocking the Depths of Communication

Within the classroom, the essence of communication extends beyond mere words. By pausing, educators create a space to delve deeper into what students are expressing—both verbally and nonverbally. This mindful pause allows educators to grasp the nuanced emotions, concerns, and intentions underlying a student’s communication. In doing so, educators demonstrate their commitment to truly understanding and connecting with their students.

The Language of Gestures

The act of pausing equips educators with the opportunity to tune into the subtle language of body cues and expressions. Amidst the spoken words, students convey a wealth of information through their gestures, facial expressions, and posture. A pause grants educators the chance to interpret these cues, enabling them to respond holistically to a student’s experience, rather than merely addressing the words uttered.

Drawing from the Past

Each student carries a unique narrative—an amalgamation of their past experiences, hurdles, and achievements. Pausing enables educators to reflect upon a student’s history, academic progress, and personal evolution. This historical context empowers educators to tailor their responses to the individual journey of each student, fostering an environment that acknowledges growth and encourages further development.

Peeling Back the Layers

While immediate responses can serve immediate needs, pausing unveils the potential to uncover the root cause of a student’s question or behavior. Is there a deeper issue at play? Are external factors affecting the student’s experience? Pausing encourages educators to dig beneath the surface, shedding light on underlying challenges. This understanding then guides educators toward crafting responses that address the core of the issue.

Cultivating Empathetic Spaces

Education transcends the transfer of knowledge; it’s about nurturing an environment of compassion and support. By pausing, educators communicate empathy and understanding—acknowledging that every student’s voice is important. This practice fosters an atmosphere of open communication and trust, where students feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and concerns.

Modeling Reflective Practices

The practice of pausing serves as a role model for students, showcasing the value of contemplation and deliberate response. When educators pause to comprehend students’ perspectives, they set the stage for collaborative problem-solving. This approach empowers students to participate actively in finding solutions, fostering their ability to navigate challenges beyond the classroom.

Extending Care to Families

Pausing isn’t confined to the classroom; it extends to interactions with students’ families. When educators pause to grasp the full picture, they gain insights into a student’s broader environment. This knowledge equips educators to extend resources, guidance, and assistance not only to the student but also to their family, reinforcing a holistic network of care.

The journey of education encompasses more than the mere transmission of information; it entails the creation of meaningful connections and fostering an environment of growth. Educators who master the art of pausing create a realm where understanding thrives, trust deepens, and authentic relationships flourish. By taking a moment to listen, reflect, and respond thoughtfully, educators embrace the essence of empathetic teaching—an embodiment of true leadership in the educational realm.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/art-pausing-versus-reacting-enhancing-interactions-vernita?trk=public_profile_article_view

Please forward this to the educators you know.

Seeing Beyond Our Fears: Embracing the Power of Pausing

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In the fast-paced world we live in, where every moment seems to be filled with hustle and bustle, the transformative power of pausing is often overlooked. When we pause, we create space for reflection, introspection, and a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. It is within these moments that we can gain clarity, find renewed inspiration, and make meaningful, intentional connections. So, let us embrace the transformative power of pausing and unlock the potential within each of us.

1. The Courage to Pause

Pausing is not a sign of weakness; it is an act of courage. We allow ourselves to acknowledge and understand our fears by taking a moment to pause. We can then move forward with strength and clarity.

2. Expanding Our Perception

When we pause, we open ourselves up to a broader worldview. By stepping back from our immediate concerns, we gain the ability to empathize with others and see situations from different angles. This expanded perception helps us transcend our fears and become active bystanders, ready to lend a helping hand when someone is in need.

3. Unleashing Empathy and Compassion

Pausing enables us to tap into our innate empathy and compassion. When we take the time to understand the fears and challenges faced by others, we cultivate a deep sense of connection. Through empathy, we can act bravely and positively impact the lives of those around us.

4. Seizing Opportunities for Growth

By daring to pause and face our fears head-on, we open doors to personal and professional growth. Pausing allows us to reflect on our aspirations, evaluate our choices, and embrace new possibilities. It is through this introspection that we can take confident steps forward.

5. Be an Active Bystander-Ignite the Upstander

We invite you to become an active participant in our movement. Embrace the pause, challenge your fears, and commit to making a difference. Together, we can create a world of Upstanders where empathy, compassion, and action prevail.

It’s time to see beyond your fears and become your greatest self by using the Power of Pause.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/seeing-beyond-our-fears-embracing-power-pausing-stevens-mhr-desj/